I am just beginning to emerge from a catatonic state of depression, undoubtedly worsened by a recent heat wave.During my depressive spells, just as during my occasional bad migraines, listening to music becomes painful. At my lowest point, the following selection was all that I could bring myself to listen to, over and over again, weakly reaching for my IPod and a fresh bottle of Gerolsteiner water. My thanks to the composers and musicians who made it possible (and to friends and acquaintances who put up with me – hi Susan!)
Heinz Holliger: 'Vier Lieder Ohne Worte' for violin and piano (1982-83) – Akiko Tatsumi (violin) and Yuji Takahashi (piano); – from an out-of-print 1989 Camerata CD
Michael Moser: 'NNO – Fernaumoos' (1993) – Polwechsel: Radu Malfatti (trombone), Burkhard Stangl (guitar), Michael Moser (cello), Werner Dafeldecker (double bass and guitar) – from 'Polwechsel' (Hat Hut CD)
Werner Dafeldecker: 'Hyogo' (1998) – Polwechsel: John Butcher (saxophones), Burkhard Stangl (guitar), Michael Moser (cello and guitar), Werner Dafeldecker (double bass, guitar and electronics) – from 'Polwechsel 2' (Hat Hut CD)
The Polwechsel CDs are available – and at a bargain price – from Hat Hut's U.S. distributor. Also worth a visit – the Polwechsel website, which includes scores and more.
Summertime blues MP3
Summertime blues FLAC
17 comments:
Real sorry to hear of your hard time Maready. I don't know if Townshend (or whoever - those 60's rockers weren't too meticulous when it came to credits were they) was right when he sung There aint no cure for the summertime blues but I sure hope you get through them soon. I've been reading more and more of your blog since I happily discovered it the other day and have come to the decision that I like your personality.
Do you have a professional page or something where your compositions, writing and other stuff is available? Hell if I knew your full name I'd look it up myself but google's not too useful on just "maready"...
Anyway, keep truckin comrade - as they used to say in Mocambique, aluta continua perpetua!
David: I don't know this music, but will download and get to know it.
Having experienced periodic depression through my life, and a changing arsenal of means to deal with it, I extend my heartfelt support and good wishes. It's important not to further blame yourself for feeling awful.
Good luck, and a speedy return to more fulfilling days. Some of us find your activity here on the blog quite important. So Thank you.
From London, UK: Backing you, Maready!
Maybe have you seen this recently?:
Giacinto Scelsi - Pranam I; Ko-Tha (Trois danses de Shiva); I Presagi; Riti: I funerali di A. Magno; Trio; Manto per quattro; Kya; Entretiens avec G. Scelsi (Hirayama, soprano/ Omar, percussion/ Mondelci, saxophones/ Nuovo Ensemble Italiano; Grupo Musica Insieme/ Brizzi)
are you able to post it on your blog, please?
thanks anyway
David, me too, I experienced depression and I can understand your changing moods and this sensation about music, that impossibility to hear, painfully.
By the way, you know about Bernadette Speach? Yesterday I heard something in Spotify, works of Without Borders (Mode 16) and is a little like Feldman, but with the jazz also...
J'espère tu vas bien!
Yeah, I feel kind of pathetic to wail about as something relatively inane as that, but it's really upsetting when even at night the temperatures won't decrease enough to make for a restful sleep. Luckily, it's gotten a little milder during the last few days.
Still, all my love goes to Spring :-D
And not unlike you, I've been having these phases pretty consistently where everything, music included, just seems to amplify the pain you're feeling, whether it's mental or physical.
Listening to Hildur is probably one of the worse things to do at this point, so I take it you haven't yet?
Anyway, I hope your good spirits soon return to you!
lukas --- thanks for your comments --- I have never actually heard B. Speach, after many years of hearing of her. Now that I am in a less negative mood, I will put that on my list of things that need to be rectified.
J --- thanks for stopping by and leaving a note ... no, I didn't listen to that CD! I left it at the bottom of the pile on the floor by the bed for later!
It's weird ... I used to have classic Seasonal Affective Disorder --- I would get depressed in the winter because of the lack of light and short days. Now it's completely shifted ... I love winter (and spring) and summer is like a living death. I'm fairly sure it has something to do with the anti-depressants I take these days (ironic, no? :) But much of it has to do with the claustrophobia of being stuck in a huge city all summer, which the heat makes worse.
Anyway, I may be able to listen to the Hildur now (although I only made it through two minutes of Shikuza 'Heavenly Persona' before I had to take it off --- Hildur would probably be OK. The problem seems to be with music where there is too much going on ... Bach for instance. I know what you mean about 'mirroring' of moods, but sometimes an exact 'mirror' of a slow depressed mood can be very comforting ... )
See you later and more music soon I hope (I'm working on it.)
Hi David, Just read thru the comments here and wanted to send you best wishes from a similarly hot and claustrophobic London..And to add that your blog is definately important to all us inquisitive music-lovers out here..Your posts have been much appreciated..Not much to add to the 'How to survive the summer city blues' manual unfortunately..I was driving out of the city the other day for a gig in the countryside and found myself utterly overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the landscape, the beauty of the trees and all the greenery of the summer..Beethoven's Pastoral comes to mind..And he was one man who knew all about surviving internal depression.
hi,
nearly "half-dead" because of the temperatures (37, 38°... in Austria at the moment) and my age (62) I can literally feel Your pain...!
So I wish You all the consolation possible (by music or by friends).
THX for all Your postings!
Yours
Berni (Austria)
David – sad to hear that you have been so low. My own battle with my demons has its ups and downs, but has been assisted greatly by the gentle and simple practices in Thich Nhat Hanh's "The Miracle of Mindfulness".
And, I think, by swimming. Spent a month on an island in Portugal, much of it in the clear water of the Atlantic. I wish I could send you some – they are good for the soul.
Please choose a tree to reconnect. Sit under it. Feel the distance between his life and yours. If you know what makes you down already try to listen to him. If you you don't he can show you your will and longing. Also sitting under a tree can be more refreshing than the AC. With good thoughts.
http://hirshhorn.si.edu/art/column.asp?key=915
The two things I hate the most are hot weather and Nazis. But I had to move to take a job, so now I'm in....
PHOENIX ARIZONA!!!
hahahahahaha!!
No garbage pick up here. You just set stuff outside and it bursts into flames.
Klan rallies every 15 minutes. It's wild.
Those tracks are pretty intense. I'm listening to the Dafeldecker. Thanks!
Max --- my girlfriend is from Albuquerque and I'm an east-coaster so I often tease her by pretending an unfamiliarity with U.S. geography west of the Mississippi and telling people she's from ... ARIZONA!
I do hear that Phoenix is the hottest major city in the U.S. --- I have another correspondent and fellow blogger who lives there (he's a Polwechsel fan as well.) I'd try to hook the two of you up, but I'm not sure if he wants his location disclosed .....
The heat is due to dissipate here this weekend ... I hope it get better out there. As far as the fascism goes, I fear that the only difference in Arizona is that the immigration issue has brought it fully out into the open ..... you don't have to look far anywhere in the U.S. these days to see the signs, in the 'blue' states as much as the 'red' --- now if the water supply out there starts drying up and your local outsourced fire department can't put out the garbage fires anymore, then perhaps it'll be time to think about another move ;)
thanks for the comments and take care
I quite agree.
I don't want to add any further impurities to your matchless blog, though I'm reachable at: propertiesofmatter.planck@gmail.com if you want to say hi.
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